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In a crazy move (on a triple-word play, no less), Hasbro games announced today the release of one of their newest online, Facebook game application - Crapulous!

Crapulous is an ASCII-based application available through the Facebook application interface, allowing users to clumsily play against a “computer-generated AI” player through command-line scripts.

“Loosely fashioned after such engaging games as Zork and that one the Matthew Broderick kid played in ‘Wargames,’ we’re convinced Crapulous will be as popular as ICQ,” commented Hasbro spokesperson, Crash Bandicoot.

Although early beta-tests revealed difficulty installing the command-line window interface on most computers, Crapulous has already gained a significant early install base, revealed Mr. Bandicoot. “We’re definitely excited by the usability testing on Windows NT machines, but only those with more than 256kb of RAM,” he added.

Nonplussed, the creators of Scrabulous have already released their replacement game, WordScraper, and have already tracked more than 8 billion installs.

Hasbro has already tentatively announced a complete roadmap of ASCII-based games for Facebook, through the remainder of 2008, including:

• BattleCrap - face off against another player, in this exciting, turn-by-turn script-based battle game
• CrappyLand - where kids and adults move simple emoticons through a flat, 2-dimensional land of fun
• Hungry Hungry Crappos - exciting turn-based action, where you compete to “eat” more “&” symbols than your computer based foes
• Oper-crap-tion - your skill at kernel commands is put to the test…fail, and you might hear the dulcit sound of an 8-bit alarm tone from your speakers

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Nothing beats a cool smoothie in the heat of the summer…nothing that is, except for high organic search results and a bump in page rank! That’s why the founders of Google have joined forces with the creators of Jamba Juice to provide nutritious, delicious, frozen concoctions with a burst of SEO goodness in every sip.

Under the working term “Google Juice,” this concept store combines thirty different fresh fruits, wheatgrass and completely legal over-the-counter health additives with inlinks, optimized on-page content and XML sitemaps. Served over in-store wireless networks, Google Juice will extract relevant demographic information from your credit card, and “serve-up” your personal or business website as an authoritative page.

“We’ve taken the concept of organic search to an entirely new level,” said one in-store, assistant night-manager at a local Google Juice store, “Everything here is certified pesticide-free…no fruits were purchased from any link-farms.”

As Google Juice concept stores roll-out throughout the country, numerous fanboy sites have already sprung up, including the Google Juice blog, the Google Juice UK blog, and the North American Man Google Juice Love Association.

Google and Jamba Juice representatives, when contacted for their opinion, promptly hung the phone up without speaking to us.

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Have you ever been irritated by that online friend who waits minutes before responding to your Instant Messages? Never fear - YooRYoo is pleased to introduce Stryke. This IM add-on seemlessly integrates with any IM application (Yahoo. MSN, Jabber, iChat, gchat and even good old-fashioned IRC), monitoring IM responses. Any friend who doesn’t respond to your IM within 30 seconds notifies our dedicated team of internet hackers…er, specialists, who bombard their computer with a suite of the latest worms, viruses and trojans.

Stryke also comes with a dashboard application, allowing you an instant global view of all your friends, and their average responses times. We can also track their email responses, and updates on your Facebook wall. Integrating this dashboard, you can launch virtual attacks on the slow-responders in your address book. Mathew Broderick never had such a sophisticated approach to his War Games!

Go pro and get access to our Storming Norton package which uses the Norton Anti-spyware update system to automagically generate a virus which is one step ahead of anything on the net! This subscription service can easily pay for itself when you integrate the “Pay-Pal-Pilfer” add-on.

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Dedd is a place for people to discover and bury dead content from anywhere on the web. From the biggest online destinations to the most obscure blog, Dedd buries the oldest, least relevant and least popular stuff as voted on by our users.Think of it as the Google of…well, just think of it as Google.

“I was doing research for a paper I was writing,” says student Arla Krapsmackle, “What I didn’t realize was that the 1st article returned was written in 1992, totally irrelevant.”

The vast majority of stuff on the web is irrelevant, outdated, or just plain stupid. Search Engine Optimization (SEO) experts have taken over the web, ranking websites higher than some well-respected government and educational websites where very relevant information can be had.

Well, now there is a place to stuff all those pages: Dedd. When you come across a page that is not relevant to your search, or is stupid, or you disagree with, or is just plain dumb - you have the option to Deddit. Click that Dedd icon and bury that mother in the Dedd archives. With enough votes you will never have to see that site come up in Google, Yahoo or Live.com ever again!

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Forget Twitter, forget IM, forget Skype – it’s time to Toot! Toot is the latest in technology that allows connectivity to your online friends. Based on patented bio-tech implants, Toot allows you to automatically update your health status on the fly! With built-in wireless connectivity, our Toot implants convey relevant biometric information status to our servers, which are then translated into status updates that integrate seamlessly with all social software platforms. Available in English, French, German, Spanish, Russian and Kanji.

Testimonial from a new Toot Subscriber: “Wow - when I first started Tooting, I wasn’t quite comfortable with it. I felt a bit embarassed doing it in public. But now that I got the hang of it, I Toot all day long. Now that I connected this to my Blackberry, I can toot in the elevator, on the subway - even at home, in bed, under the covers. I am not sure what life was like before Tooting - but it’s certainly much better now!”

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