yooRyoo.com

Let’s face it – we’re all sick of online predators creating false profiles and making social networks unsafe. It seems the only justice we could level is publicly humiliating them on national TV. But who has time to lurk online, entrapping these felons while capturing the whole incident on high-definition tape for your local television broadcast?

JailByte does – our company is comprised of social community “specialists” adept at creating fake profiles of teenage girls and boys. These specialists are trained in all aspects of teen culture – music, clothes, likes/dislikes and the newest teen texting trends. Then they lurk online, hoping to draw predators to their profiles, and set up a rendezvous at some undisclosed location (i.e. “a home where the parents are gone for a long weekend”) – little do they know, we are leading them into our state-of-the-art studio.

At our studio/house, JailByte employs the smarmiest interviewers that greet these unsuspecting felons at the front door, and inquire about their intentions, shove copies of licentious email transcripts in their face and ask why they brought beer to this meeting – and we capture it all on four cameras! Once the confrontation ends, our team quickly edits the tape into a six minute clip, properly packaged for your local media outlets! Shame and frustration awaits these predators – and your ratings will rise!

Note: due to legal complications, JailByte is unable to provide our services to aid and assist in any legal enforcement effort.

Sick of how the internet has become a cesspool of cheesy scraped content, thin affiliate marketing pages, porn and gambling websites? Well, step aside, for a new technology has been born: the iInternet, the internet for the internet!

Going back to the origins of the Internet as a place of learning with the free exchange of ideas among enlightened academics, hi-octane scientists and engineers have created a sort of internet for the Internet.

The Internet was very pleased: “FInally, a place to call our own! Now every site I see doesn’t have to be about porn or gambling, or the egocentric solipsistic whinings of privileged technocrats complaining about how awful their life is – how ’bout me! I’m the one that has to listen to all this crap!”

The iInternet was built as a joint project between IBM, Microsoft, Oracle, Sun Microsystems Google and Al Gore. Apple was notably excluded from discussions. The iInternet has been housed within the tesseract of a wormhole and for now is pristine, truly knowledge driven and uncommercial.

But that may change. The Internet was heard mumbling, ‘Great, now how are we going to make money off this?’

We take the “social” out of social networking.

Why go through the trouble of creating a secret identity (so your boss won’t know), and then having to port it over from Friendster to Myspace and then to Facebook or whatever flavor of the month social media?

And what about the pain of informing your real friends of your new secret identity, and then the pain of getting your friends to port over as well?

Well, now your worries are over!

After filling out a short form we will create a new secret identity for you, complete with friends, friend comments, interests and more. We will even blog, comment and send out fake party and event notices to all your fake friends.

Be the life of the (virtual) party!