In a surprising move today, Steve Jobs submitted paperwork to make a move to own the lowercase letter “i.”
“It’s a natural evolution of our product offerings,” he explained in a press statement, “first we had the iPod, then the iPhone, the iPad and even the iClock. Let’s face it, Apple pretty much has cornered the market on products beginning with the letter ‘i.’ You could even say, we pwned it”
The surprising announced rippled through the Bay Area, causing an uproar among high-tech companies and literary agents alike. Today, Microsoft plans to submit papers to trademark the lowercase letter “e” – which not only pits them in direct conflict with poet e.e. Cummings, but is also a move that’s about 10 years too late.