In an effort not to be outdone by his democratic rival Barak Obama, John McCain is the angel investor behind a new communication service designed to directly appeal to his core base of Republican Senior Citizens.
“We know elderly senior citizens are aware of the web and sometimes use it,” said an unnamed McCain spokesperson from an undisclosed retirement community, “And not just to look up medication information. Remember, these old people also have lots of money. And they can’t take it with them…”
To reach this key base, the McCain campaign launched an incentive contest to create the best web technology to tap into this potential donor stream. First place was a $30 million prize (2nd place offered a free ride to anywhere in the continental US on the “StraightTalk Express”).
Luckily, the few remaining members of the College Republicans banded together their resources, and were quickly able to create FeedTube. FeedTube is a senior-friendly video/audio streaming application – complete with large web buttons for easy use and audio at 200% normal volume. McCain staff will be able to easily upload content – from standard traditional sources such as TV, cassette recorders and even eight-track – to an online platform.
Then, a team edits the content into a senior-friendly format – long, rambling edits that often wax poetic about the Great Depression, horse-drawn carriages and the Industrial Revolution. The final audio/video project is then transmistted not only online (through the FeedTube website), but also broadcast to senior homes throughout the country directly, for viewing.
“FeedTube allows us to feed this information directly to our target base,” said another unnamed spokesperson for the McCain campaign, “Sometimes these seniors have difficulty understanding – or swallowing – the political rhetoric. FeedTube allows us to easily stuff this information deep down into their gullets with no risk of them throwing it back up at us.”
It is noted that implementation of FeedTube within retirement homes and hospices must be done by licensed medical professionals.