After the recent incendiary and possibly racist remarks by Jesse “I want to cut his nuts off” Jackson, and Obama’s former preacher, Pieceout has created a technology that translates hatespeech within the Obama (supposed) supporters, into truly supportive, non-incendiary, politically correct and non-offensive speech. The new technology has been dubbed “J’Obama 2.0”
J’Obama 2.0 is a combination of VoIP and voice-recognition software (similar to the technology used for speech recognition applications include voice dialing (e.g., “ET phone home”), call routing (e.g., “I would like to make a booty call”), and in aircraft cockpits usually termed Direct Voice Input (e.g., “Don’t screw around with me Maverick. You’re a hell of an instinctive pilot. Maybe too good. I’d like to bust your butt but I can’t. I got another problem here. I gotta send somebody from this squadron to Miramar. I gotta do something here, I still can believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I’m gonna send you up against the best. You two characters are going to Top Gun.”)
The political dialog in this age of 24 hour media coverage has gotten to the point where we must not only watch our language; we must learn to use our language in a positive and supportive manner. And when we can’t, it’s J’Obama 2.0 to the rescue!
Much like how the Neo-Conservatist united their party under extremist rhetoric and Rush Limbaugh “Dittoheads” Obama supporters have to speak with one voice – united. A translation device utilizes this new way of talking by co-opting the language of our oppressors through the J’Obama technology will aid us in expressing ourselves in a people positive manner. J’Obama the translation technology will lead the way!
What we need to be careful of is avoiding the type of heckling that arose with the use of Ebonics. Ebonics, a valid English based dialect was characterized as a dumbing down of the English Language – a throwback to bad english and slang-ridden pseudo-language. This misinterpretation of a rich and varied dialect of English has reduced it to the level of jokes told during Late Night talk shows and sound bites. In order to fight this tendency of the hegemony to put-down and belittle what they do not understand, J’Obama 2.0 is here as a multi-faceted tool to aid in the unification of the black men and women that publicly state that they support Obama.
The name “J’Obama” refers to a sort of mashup between Jesse Jackson and Obama. On the one hand it speaks to the roots of addressing the kind of careless statements said when thought of as off-mike when in reality they were said inadvertently into a live one (e.g. “Barack, he’s talking down to black people…”). On the other, it addresses the hope of a black man as a candidate for the president of the United States embodied by Senator Obama. Different modules address different audiences using the J’Obama 2.0 technology suite
The translation device is worn around the neck and instantaneously scrubs outgoing speech by the user and translates it into meaningful and supportive phrases. Some examples:
- “I want to cut his nuts off” translates to: “I support Obama 100%”
- “America Has Murdered Innocent People & God Damn America!” translates to: “I support America’s troops, but not our countries policies.”
The direct translation mode involves a miniturized microphone connected to hardware that directly translates hatespeech to what you ‘really meant’ (often recounted later at an apologetic press conference).