Had a late night argument with your lady friend? Girlfriend driving you nuts with her jealousy and angry texts? Is she ready to “commit” while you are planning your exit strategy? Or just can’t find your “perfect mate” on eHarmony or Match.com? No problem…
Introducing “iGrrlfrend” – a virtual girlfriend simulator that does exactly what you want, when you want it, at an affordable monthly subscription rate.
After subscribing to iGrrlfrend, users are directed to a dashboard, where they can begin crafting their own unique virtual girlfriend. Using the patented Dungeons & Dragons rating model, the iGrrlfrend Setup Wizard launches, allowing you to craft the “perfect” features (n a scale of 1 to 18) for your virtual girlfriend, including:
- Hair color
- Mood Swings
- Dexterity (if you know what I mean)
- Rhythm (if you know what I mean)
- Sex Appeal (if you know…er, never mind)
For those users that would rather bypass the Setup Wizard, they could select from the following templates:
- Angelina Jolie
- Marisa Miller
- Scarlett Johansen
- Jessica Alba
- Roseanne Barr
Then, using the OpenID engine, iGrrlfrend scrolls and scrapes through your existing social networks and online identies, and pulls in relevant information about you – your hobbies, pictures of you and your friends, musical tastes, etc.
Within five business days, your iGrrlfrend‘s identity is created, and she will automatically “friend” you on Facebook, change your relationship status, and upload PhotoShopped pictures of you and her together – at bars and on “romantic getaways” to exotic locales like Milpitas, CA.
Other advanced features of iGrrlfrend will allow you to receive text messages, stating “Where the hell R U at – come home now!” or Twitter messages stating: “My friends saw you talking with that girl – who is she? Call me now!”
Plans are in the works to create an alternate iBoifrend – where female users can select from a bevvy of nerdy, overweight men that are actually real and desperate to make human contact in any form. The cost to enroll in iBoifrend are – obviously – much cheaper.