Late last night, Google silently released a new version of internet search based on the old school ASCII formatting –
something they are tentatively calling “Gaascii.” This new method of internet search will allow users to search all
websites and have the results returned to them in simple, ASCII-based results.
Google CEO Eric E. Schmidt couldn’t contain his glee at the press release, just shortly after 9pm PST yesterday:
“Finally, I could pull out my old dot-matrix printer, and put it back to use. I don’t know about you, but I was getting
tired of having to program in ASP, .NET and even HTML – ASCII is much cleaner.”
Google CEO Eric E. Schmidt
everything,” Schmidt added.
With this announcement, simultaneously Schmidt also announced the conversion of other Google properties to this “new/old”
way of rendering the internet:
* YouTube will now become ASCII-tube
* Google Earth will become Gaasci-earth
* Google Maps will simply become Maasci
In response to this announcement, millions of internet users (mostly those that frequent porn sites) responded
with horror. “What, do I have to start looking at ASCII photos of naked women again? I mean, what is this – 1982?” said one.