Ct’Hulu, H.P. Lovecraft’s fictional gods, now available for download in digital!

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Ct\'Hulu

A new internet site originally created to serve television shows over the internet has been taken over by the Cthuhlu old gods as a gateway to enter the earth plane and destroy the universe. Similar to the current economic downturns, this sudden change in streaming online TV content has been been predicted before…but received no media attention.

Nearly a century ago, one of the original cultists (Old Castro) of the Ct’Hulu intoned:

They were not composed altogether of flesh and blood. They had shape…but that shape was not made of matter. When the stars were right, They could plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars were wrong, They could not live. But although They no longer lived, They would never really die

In retrospect, it is now known that he was talking about the advent of streaming online television content and the much balley-hooed conversion to digital TV programming.

The “much-discussed couplet” from Abdul Alhazred‘s Necronomicon confirms it:

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange ├Žons even death may die.[15]

This not only refers to shows that are in endless syndication on nearly half of online HD cable networks (such as The Seinfeld Channel, Sci-Fi Channel’s Star Trek-a-paloosa and TV Land’s I Love Lucy – Eight Days a Week) but also direly prophecizes on-demand downloads of obscure TV programs from sites such as www.Hulu.com. These programs include Adam-12, Firefly and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Effectively, this is signaling the creation of the technology that would lead to the end of the world as we know it.

Astrologers and Ct’Hulu experts agree that the end of the world will start on 12:00:01 AM, February 17th, 2009 – which, coincidentally is the date that analog television will cease to be transmitted, and digital television programming exclusively broadcast.

The cultists of the Ct’Hulu gods state that a suitable transferrence medium will finally be available to herald the start of a new era:

The secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth….Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom.

Or, as Congresswoman Marsha Black states on her website, “The technology allows broadcasters to transmit programming with higher resolution and dramatically improved picture/sound quality.”

Cultists remain skeptical.

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