yooRyoo.com

In a second surprise announcement today, the McCain campaign released plans for a new micro-blogging service company led by the new presumptive Vice-Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin. Mrs. Palin described the software as follows: “This is a Web-services-ready multi-device hybridized dating web-app that leverages the basic human need to connect.”

When asked for clarification from the press, she stated, “As I said, this software-as-a-service is a social-networking-aware multi-device hybridized photo web-app that leverages the potential for exponential growth.”

The McCain campaign attempted to explain: “It’s a filtered revolutionary Web 2.0 photo infrastructure that leverages the third screen. Where else can you find a Web 2.0 p2p long invite-only beta calendaring framework that leverages ubiquitous broadband?”

Confused reporters than turned to McCain for a deeper clarification. “I still don’t use a computer,” he replied, “but I do know that her software is an incentivized p2p social-networking-aware IM Firefox extension that leverages the destabilization of the music industry.”

Then in complete non-sequitors, simple sound-bytes rang out from Fox News:

• “Sarah Palin created the very first multi-device web-services-ready open source voice infrastructure that leverages the long tail”
• “This inexperienced female governer from Alaska is delivering to the American population the only social-networking-aware long invite-only beta revolutionary email cellphone app that leverages network effects.”
• “Tagging-enabled hybridized Web 2.0 search Firefox extension that leverages existing metadata helps to create Sarah Palin’s inventive remixable filtered disruptive calendaring desktop app that leverages the third screen.”

When asked for a response, Obama’s campaign simply stated: “So what – we created the very first web-services-ready Ruby on Rails multi-device social network framework that leverages the long tail…something no one else can lay claim to.”

Canaanite 2.0, aka “McCainonites,” are a modern version of the biblical Canaanites, who were smitten by the Israelis back when toilet paper was a novel idea. Canaanite 2.0 is a VC-funded technology, led by an unnamed elderly Angel-investor that happens to be running for a major political office. These “McCainonites” believe in the strength of old people, national defense, and smiting “non-believers” – and they do this via an AJAX-enabled interface offering news updates exclusively through AltaVista.

While in days of old Israelis destroyed the Canaanites, it seems that the “modern-day” (ha!) McCainonites are being undone by their own actions and poorly written code.

A list of faulty code found in McCainonite include:

• Replacing (in many news posts) the word “Iraq” when they clearly mean Afghanistan”
• Mistaking “Somalia” for “Sudan” in at least one news feed
• On their sports section, swapping out the “Green Bay Packers” tag for the “Pittsburgh Steelers”
• Often referring to Vladimir Putin of Russia — particularly following trips to Germany — as “President Putin of Germany”
• Interchanging the words “Sunnis” and “Shiiteheads” in all Iraq-centered updates
• Accidentally mistaking a dog for a cat
• Once trying to open a baby instead of an umbrella on a rainy day

<sarcasm>No, old age and outdated code really has nothing to do with it </sarcasm>

In response, two major news sites – Yo’Bama and Jo’Bama didn’t have to do anything – they just changed minor CSS items, and stood aside to watch the fiasco, and try not to make flubs about the US having 57 states.

Web 2.0 technology has created a new and improved presidential candidate, dubbed Obama2.0. The hierarchical, top down administration has been combined with the advantages of social networking and grass roots support and fundraising.

It was determined (through a series of exhaustive online surveys) that the candidate be multi-racial, liberal, very well-spoken, highly educated, with just a smattering of negatives to make him feel more real and less plastic than John Edwards. From YouTube endorsements (I’ve got a crush on Obama) to celebrity endorsements ( Scarlett Johansen) the story of Web 2.0 technology Obama2.0 is like something out of a Silicon Valley think tank. Which he is.

Expected to poll well in a variety of communities – both online and in real-life, Obama2.0 is a “mash-up” of previous presidential candidates, including John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, and Jimmy Carter. This real-life avatar expects to be downloaded heavily in November, in full expectation of it’s initial release.