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Following on the heels of Hoffspace, the David Hasselhoff Social Network, Chuck Norris has released his own version of an online community called MyFistYourFacebook.com, an Unsocial Network. Much like lolcats, lolroadkill and lolfurniture, this site is mostly about posting photos with Chuck Norris one-liners:

MyFistYourFacebook.com also has the ability for members to create groups, much like Myspace and Facebook have now. Except on Chuck Norris’ site, these groups are geared less around building a community and more towards fighting one-upmanship, such as the “I could take you” group, or the related “I could take you, and yer mom too” group. Discussions range from schoolyard fight videos to discussions with lines like “This fight would take two hits: I hit you, and you hit the ground!”

MyFistYourFacebook.com has also integrated the “Tap-o-wicki” social network for young men who post about their latest (imaginary) conquests, with users in the discussion areas posting about, “Yeah, Marissa Miller and me, yeah, I tapped that,” and “I roundhouse kicked Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie left him for me. Yeah, I tapped that twice.”

The new social networking site “Hoffspace” centered around David Hasselhoff, (of Knightrider, Baywatch and drunken burger gobbling fame) has launched itself into the international internet space. Russia has declared that the Hoffs Uber-American influence on impressionable Russian youth is tantamount to a declaration of war, and will not abide the West’s encroachment into what it considers its territory.

Russia has invaded Savannah, GA, reportedly in search of the elusive actor, drawing protests and questions from Georgia locals asking on Yahoo Answers such as user Jessica B., who asked “i herd on the news that rusia has invaded but i dont see them no where wats going on.”

In a surprise move, Chuck Norris has taken up the cause of the Hoffster. This is after inflicting such serious pain on David Hasselhoff that no one cared about him anymore (until the Hoffspace and Russia invasion, that is).

What I break stays broke,” Chuck Norris responded after hearing about the rise of Hoffspace, “but this is America versus Russia, and I always side with the West.”

Chuck Norris is the baddest of bad asses, his exploit chronicled in the Urban Dictionary:

• “Alien vs Predator” is an autobiographical depiction of Chuck Norris’ first sexual experience.
• While Chuck Norris was on holiday in Spain, he ate some bad paella causing him to take the largest shit known to man. That shit is now France.
• Chuck Norris once ate an entire watermelon, including the seeds, then grew an entire watermelon patch in his stomach which fed eleven families for six weeks.
• In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck killed that man.
• Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris is unable to send his roundhouse kicks across the fabric of time, however he IS able to perform this action across parallel dimensions and once, just for fun, roundhouse kicked his own ass.

Russia is in for some big trouble, especially after running over a LOLcat and turning it into LOLRoadkill. If anyone can kick Russian ass, it’s Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris, in a surprise Web 2.0 venture, announced today a release of a new type of marketing destined to kick all other marketing forms’ collective asses – Virile Marketing.

When reached for comment, Chuck stated, “Look, I know all about all those other types of marketing – ‘traditional,’ ‘guerrilla,’ ‘online,’ ‘viral’…they’re all pansies and ineffective. Virile Marketing is so powerful, that it not only is 100% effective, it’s the Baby-Daddy of all marketing. I mean, it has impregnated all other forms of marketing and denied that it’s the father…and it doesn’t really care.”

Chuck Norris released the top reasons why Virile Marketing is better than all other forms:

10. Virile Marketing doesn’t have a “call to action” – it just waves its fists menacingly.

9. Virile Marketing is so powerful that instead of runnning ads, ads run from it.

8. Virile Marketing doesn’t have to build a marketing plan – it just kicks things in the face.

7. There’s no such thing as “integrated marketing” – Virile Marketing doesn’t mix with anything.

6. You can’t “Search Engine Optimize” Virile Marketing, since Virile Marketing tells Google what should be number 1.

5. It take Virile Marketing 20 days to build a 90 day marketing plan.

4. Michael Phelps once tried to swim faster than Virile Marketing, but Virile Marketing beat him by 1/1000 of a second. And then roundhouse-kicked him for good measure.

3. When Virile Marketing heard about Hoffspace, it almost didn’t kick it’s ass it was laughing so hard…but then inflicted such serious pain on David Hasselhoff that no one in the world cared about “the Hoff” anymore.

2.Virile Marketing built a better mousetrap, but the world was too afraid to beat a path to its door.

1. There is only one thing more effective than Virile Marketing – Chuck Norris. But it would be a close fight.

When reached for comment, other forms of marketing refused to the answer their phone, for fear of retribution.

Poor Rick Astley never gets a break in this Web 2.0 world. After suddenly re-appearing on the pop scene last year due to a surge of “rick-rolling” on YouTube, Mr. Astley was rediscovered by millions of new listeners throughout the world. The demand for his techno-pop-synth sounds soared, so much so that he announced his plan to tour Japan and the Far East, digging up his 80′s pseudo-music catalog for newer, younger audiences.

Just when the money began rolling back to Rick Astley’s pockets, a newer internet craze surfaced on the web, a craze designed to humiliate this singer of such hits as “Never Gonna Give You Up” and “Together Forever”….Roll Ricking.

Roll Ricking is a malicious prank targeting Rick Astley directly – just as he takes to the stage and the opening strains of his Number 1 hits flow from the computer banks (doubling as his band), large screens drop from the ceilings, and different videos begin showing inane video clips such as:

• LOLcats montages
• videos of people inadvertently taking a hit to their crotch
• naked webcam girls that want to get freaky with you – FREE!
• clothed webcam girls that want to mildly suggest things to do with you – FREE!
• other people singing “Never Gonna Give You Up” in Karaoke

These video events are subsequently filmed and uploaded back to YouTube.

Rick Astley caught on tape at a latest concert

Already humiliated at four concerts in Japan and Hong Kong, Rick Astley has been quoted as stating: “This is enough – there’s only so much this One (maybe Two) Hit Wonder of the 80′s can take – I’m quitting touring for good.” After blowing his nose, he added: “Besides, I just got offered a hosting job at VH-1 for their new reality/trivia/nostalgia program: “Growing up with Denise Richards in the I Love the 80′s Rock of Love game show.”

YouTube viewers, when reached for comment, left more than 4,000 smarmy responses on voicemail – maybe two or three of them relevant and/or funny.