yooRyoo.com

Happy Friday, yooRyoo denizens! It’s been a crazy Web 2.0 week (particularly if you own a Sarah Palin website or blog). Judging by the web activity this last week, I expect this to be an interesting election cycle online.

Every Friday, on our Friday Fishwrap, yooRyoo presents the results of our “Is It Real?” poll from the previous Sunday, and then shares with you a fun, interesting video about Web 2.0. So, let’s get started:

Last Sunday, we featured a company called MyGlu - a web 2.0 open-source API that allows users the ability to thread together status updates and the like from a variety of social network sites. It’s all presented in a single, dashboard-like intereface. Then, we asked you to vote if the company is indeed real. Here are the survey results:

• 50% of you thought that MyGlu was real
• 50% thought that MyGlu might be real
• No one thought that MyGlu was fake.

Well, in all actuality, MyGlu is indeed a fake, made-up company - everyone was wrong! I guess it is believable that a service like MyGlu can exist (particularly since there are too many social networking sites in this day and age - I belong to seven myself - SEVEN!!!). Well, who knows what the future of the web will hold…

Which is a nice transition to today’s video. It’s entitled “Internet 1994” and features the cool, “new” possibilities of what the web could be. Sometimes it’s interesting to reflect that a mere 14 years ago, the web was filled with static webpages, indexed in categories by Yahoo! and Alta Vista. This video is a quaint, retro reminder of this new technology - enjoy!

Related posts

• Friday Fishwrap (8-5-08): The Evolution of Cellphones (0)
• Friday Fishwrap (8-19-08): McCain invents the Blackberry (1)
• Friday Fishwrap (10-24-08): GW Bush endorses McCain/Palin - with Will Ferrill and Tina Fey (0)
• Friday Fishwrap (8-29-08): FaceBook in Reality (0)
• Friday Fishwrap (10-10-08): a-ha’s “Take On Me” - the literal version (1)

Fans of Gene Rodenberry are delighted to hear that the 2008 presidential campaign has finally see the release of a previously top-secret “Palindome.” With the release of this incredible device, once marginalized members of society finally have a chance to win the candidacy of the President or Vice President of the United States.

Each marginalized demographic (women, black men, Irish-Americans, semi-senile senior citizens and even white trailer-trash from Alaska) has its pundits and believers.

It is common knowledge that candidates can’t be all things to all people. John Edwards (formerly running for the Democratic nomination) had the frustration of not being able to convincingly stand for the black or women’s vote. Mrs. Edwards explained that they “…can’t make John black, or a woman” (it is noted that he was able to be an adulterer, but we digress).

Now, with Palindome, they can.

Much like Star Trek’s Holodeck, the Palindome was created by government scientists that labored on the device for well over two decades. With the release of Windows Vista, they finally found a stable OS to run the sophisticated software, and released the device in time for the 2008 Presidential race, Now candidates have the ability to to simulate life-like experiences of what it is like to be an elderly white man, a black man, or even a female governor of a low population state.

This simulation allows candidates to validate their deeply held convictions, without the by-products of what it is actually like to be a disgruntled POW or a white woman with an underage teen daughter pregnant out of wedlock. And amazingly, just like in the Star Trek episode “The Inner Light” the candidates can live a lifetime’s worth of experiences in about 15 minutes (not counting the Windows Vista reboots).

Barack Obama, after exiting the Palindome, stated: “Now I understand the experiences that my opponent has gone through. I have been tortured. My arms broken. I cheated on my first wife after she was maimed in a traffic accident with rich debutantes. I flew into unexpected rages and have made rash, unreasoned decisions - like selecting a running-mate with absolutely no credentials.”

McCain had a similar revelation: “I feel great sympathy with black women everywhere, since, through the technology of the Palindome, I am able to understand, through a lifetimes experience of being a black woman, your particular issues.” Aides whispered in his ears for an awkward moment, and he then added, “What I meant was experiencing what it was like to live the life of a black MAN.” Then he was gingerly led off-stage.

Not surprisingly, Sarah Palin was actually the first to enter the Palindome (hence it was named after her) and went into an alternate reality where she experienced what it was like to be a politically savvy, smart, well-connected and knowledgeable Senator of the state of New York. Still, the experience apparently had no effect on her.

Scientist have resolved that while the Palindome can have you experience the simulated life of another person, it can’t make up for your own stupidity.

Related posts

• Sarah Palin releases new Web 2.0 technology to offset McCain’s ignorance of computers (0)
• Evil robotic firm unleashes “Palin-drones” on the world (3)
• New Online Political Poll finds 97% of the country hasn’t been polled (2)
• The ‘G’ in G1 Phone stands for ‘Grok,’and now it’s time to ‘Grok the vote!’ (0)
• The Palin Patch takes the “shrill” out (1)

“Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?”

Deep in a bunker somewhere up in the Great White North, an evil firm specializing in robotic technology has secretly created life-like robotic drones, and have unleashed them quietly into the world.

Nick-named “Palin-drones” these robotic menaces have been created with one objective in mind: to act as mirror-opposites of themselves. That is, they begin by assuming a normal political position, and establish firm firm convictions and opinions. Then, within the course of a small period of time (say, a presidential political election cycle), the Palin-drones quickly change their opinions and come out sharply against themselves.

Palin-drones have been known to even vote against bills they co-authored. Equipped with dual-core processors (with each processor maintaining a separate identity and political position), these drones have already fooled nearly half of the US population.

Luckily, skeptics and anyone with half a brain are able to pick out a Palin-drone from a real person. Still, to date, two top-of-the line models still exist with an objective of undermining US society.

The Maverick08

This is a drone with a curmudgeonly attitude. He often is angry and spiteful, and only smirks - not smiles. Some of his recorded reversals:

1. The Maverick08 insisted that everyone, even “terrible killers,” “the worst kind of scum of humanity,” and detainees at Guantanamo Bay, “deserve to have some adjudication of their cases,” even if that means “releasing some of them.” He even indicated that Gitmo should be closed. He now believes the opposite.
2. He was against waterboarding and torture until February of this year - now he’s for it.
3. When his political opponent indicated that he wanted to go to Pakistan to fight terrorist, the Maverick08 criticized him for it - now he’s for it (wanting to follow them to the “gates of hell”)
4. He wanted to kick Russia out of the G8, and then he didn’t, and then he did again.
5. The Maverick08 is both for and against a “rogue state rollback”
6. This drone once said about the war in Iraq: “We will win this conflict. We will win it easily.”Four years later he said that he knew all along that it was “probably going to be long and hard and tough.”
7. The Maverick08 flip-flopped on a number of positions related to Social Security
8. He was against making Martin Luther King a national holiday, now he’s for it.
9. He was for equal rights for gays (including gay marriage) and women, but now he’s come out against it.
10. He was for a woman’s right to choose before he was against it.

A full list of all 76 policy reversals can be found at The Carpetbagger Report.

“Do geese see God?”

The HockeyMILF-o-tron

The second model, called the HockeyMILF-o-tron, was just recently unleashed on the public, and already has recorded a stunning set of reversals in position, including:

1. She was for the “Bridge to Nowhere” before she was against it (and she still kept the money for it!)
2. She is for women voters, but against giving them a right to choose.
3. She was against wind-power and clean coal projects, before she was for it.
4. She thought that Hilary Clinton was whining during the campaign, and then she praised her for her successes in the campaign.

More have been pointed out by Keith Oberman on a recent TV program:

• Sarah Palin’s Lies and Flip-Flops Part 1
• Sarah Palin’s Lies and Flip-Flops Part 2

“No, it never propagates if I set a gap or prevention”

Other Palin-drones are being discovered on a daily basis, since the Republican National Convention. They include

The KarlRove-o-matic (aka Pasty-head):

And the Papa-BearX8000:

“Some men interpret nine memos”

Related posts

• Sarah Palin releases new Web 2.0 technology to offset McCain’s ignorance of computers (0)
• New Online Political Poll finds 97% of the country hasn’t been polled (2)
• Friday Fishwrap (8-19-08): McCain invents the Blackberry (1)
• The ‘G’ in G1 Phone stands for ‘Grok,’and now it’s time to ‘Grok the vote!’ (0)
• Sarah Palin “turkey interview” shows Palin-drones reprogrammed with insensitivity to death (1)

Happy Sunday - the weekend is almost over. But before you head back to work, make sure to vote on today’s Is It Real? contender.

For those of you new to Is It Real?, it’s a simple concept: we provide a company name and description, and your job - if you choose to accept it - is to vote on if you think it is a real company or not. We tally your votes all week long, and reveal the real answer on Friday.

One caveat - you cannot use the internet in anyway to help guess your answer. Ready? Then let’s get started:

Today’s company is called MyGlu - a web 2.0 open-source API that allows users to begin threading together information from a variety of social network sites, and presents it in a single dashboard-like interface. Taken from the website directly, here is a brief description of their services:

No two social networks are alike. Taking this into account, MyGlu is designed to aggregate key information from all these sites, and give users an easy-interface to share and update data.

With already existing APIs for MySpace, YouTube, Twitter, Friend-Feed and Spokeo (to name a few), MyGlu is a much-needed application is the clouded web 2.0 space.

So friends, we must ask - Is MyGlu Real?

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Happy Friday, everyone. You made it through a shortened work-week. Typically, on Friday Fishwrap we not only feature a cool, web 2.0 video, we also share with you the results of our “Is It Real?” survey. Since last Sunday, we had a very special “OMG - it IS real!!“ edition, there are no poll results to share. So, straight to the video…

Today’s video is called “Evolution of the Cell Phone” which I found on the great site 5min. Enjoy and have a safe weekend. And don’t forget to tune in this Sunday for a new “Is It Real?“…

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A new study by George Picken & Calvin McCracken released today entitled “Attempting to measure ROI on Web 2.0 Companies - Why Sisyphus Had it Easier” revealed an alarming statistic: 67% of all Web 2.0 statistics are made up on the fly, based on only anecdotal evidence.

George Picken reciting statistics that he just made up

“It’s really amazing” stated Picken, “Not only are the statistics completely unreal, nearly 95% of the time these false statistics are made by people with a peripheral knowledge of  Web 2.0!”

“What’s more surprising are the demographics,” added McCracken, “80% of these false statistics are made up by men aged 25-40. The second largest group are transgendered people aged 90+ at an incredible 17.3%...or so I’ve heard.”

Calvin McCracken, known recluse
and his wife, posturing

Based on a rough survey they did at various local coffee shops around town, Picken & McCracken’s study went on to reveal more surprising data:

• 53% of Web 2.0 companies are created with no plan to make money, and from that group only 24% of them actually survive the first year
• 12% of Web 2.0 services are geared to Mac users exclusively, which matches the commonly believed 8% market penetration of Macs within the home computer user segment
• The three fastest growing Web 2.0 services are:

microblogging (at 33% over the previous year),

social network applications (with a steady average 15% growth rate for the past 6 years)

mashups (with a sharp spike of 42.2%, this year over previous)

Picken & McCracken’s study is expected to cause ripples into the blogosphere (83.4% of all news is transmitted throughout the web through blogs, the study has found).

“Now that it’s published online, it’s gotta be true,” said Picken.

“Yeah, once it’s on the internet it’s part of the collective reality,” added McCracken, “It happens 93.47% of the time.”

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Much confusion was generated on the internet this weekend when Google searches for “Governor Palin” resulted in websites related to former Monty Python regular performer Michael Palin. One reporter under that false impression interviewed Michael Palin, as excerpted below:

Reporter: How does it feel to be chosen as the running mate for the Republican ticket for the presidency?

Michael Palin: I think you must be confusing me with a different ‘Palin’

Reporter: Your name is ‘Palin” correct?

Michael Palin: Why yes, but -

Reporter: And you have been selected as the Vice Presidential running mate for Senator McCain?

Michael Palin: I’m sorry, but that is not the case

Reporter: Well, that’s just a technicality, isn’t it? I mean if Google thinks you have been selected as the Republican Vice Presidential runningmate, then it must be true, right?

Michael Palin: No, it is not, it is absolutely false!

Reporter: Look, you’re a ‘Palin’ and Senator McCain selected a ‘Palin’ as a runningmate, right?

Michael Palin: Right, but -

Reporter: Well then, that’s established. So, how does it feel to be selected as the Vice Presidential candidate of a man one heartstroke away from leaving you with the presidency?

Michael Palin: I was NOT selected as a US Vice Presidential candidate! In fact, I’m British, I mean, can’t you tell by my accent! I can’t even be selected as a running mate! And just because it comes up in Google, doesn’t mean it’s automatically true!

========================

Late Tuesday night, it was finally established that Michael Palin was not a the governor of a medium-sized state for less than two years, but arguably more experienced than Governor Sarah Palin, the most inexperienced person on a major-party ticket in modern history. This has effectively made the McCain bid for president dead-on-arrival:

(with apologies to Monty Python):

==============================

The Dead Presidential Candidate Sketch

 A Republican voter enters the Republican National Convention.

Republican voter: ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The RNC Chairman does not respond.)

Republican voter: ‘Ello, Miss?

RNC Chairman: What do you mean “miss”?

Republican voter: I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

RNC Chairman: We’re closin’ for Gustav.

Republican voter: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this presidential candidate what I voted not a year ago from this very state.

RNC Chairman: Oh yes, the, uh, the McCain Watwaseetinkin…What’s,uh…What’s wrong with him?

Republican voter: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with him, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with him!

RNC Chairman: No, no, ‘e’s uh,…he’s resting.

Republican voter: Look, matey, I know a dead presidential candidate when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.

RNC Chairman: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable candidate, the McCain Watwaseetinkin, idn’it, ay? Beautiful history!

Republican voter: His history don’t enter into it. He’s stone dead.

RNC Chairman: Nononono, no, no! ‘E’s resting!

Republican voter: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up! (shouting at the television) ‘Ello, Mister Polly Presidential candidate! I’ve got a lovely fresh new wife for you if you show…

(RNC Chairman hits the television)

RNC Chairman: There, he moved!

Republican voter: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the television!

RNC Chairman: I never!!

Republican voter: Yes, you did!

RNC Chairman: I never, never did anything…

Republican voter: (yelling and hitting the television repeatedly) ‘ELLO MCCAIN!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!

(Takes presidential candidate out of the television and thumps its head on the counter. Throws him up in the air and watches him plummet to the floor.)

Republican voter: Now that’s what I call a dead presidential candidate.

RNC Chairman: No, no…..No, ‘e’s stunned!

Republican voter: STUNNED?!?

RNC Chairman: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin’ up! McCain Watwaseetinkin stun easily, major.

Republican voter: Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That presidential candidate is definitely deceased, and when I voted for him in the primaries not a year ago, you assured me that his total lack of movement was due to him bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged campaign.

RNC Chairman: Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the rice paddies.

Republican voter: PININ’ for the RICE PADDIES?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got home?

RNC Chairman: The McCain Watwaseetinkin prefers keepin’ on his back! Remarkable conservative, id’nit, squire? Lovely history!

Republican voter: Look, I took the liberty of examining that presidential candidate when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting on his stool in the
first place was that he had been NAILED there.

(pause)

RNC Chairman: Well, o’course he was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that conservative down, he would have nuzzled up to those voters, bent ‘em apart with his promises, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Republican voter: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this conservative wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!

RNC Chairman: No no! ‘E’s pining!

Republican voter: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This presidential candidate is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the stool ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE!!

(pause)

RNC Chairman: Well, I’d better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ’round the back of the shop, and uh, we’re right out of presidential candidates.

Republican voter: I see. I see, I get the picture.

RNC Chairman: I got an Alaskan guv’nor.

(pause)

Republican voter: Pray, does she know any foreign policy?

RNC Chairman: Nnnnot really.

Republican voter: WELL SHE’S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS SHE?!!???!!?

RNC Chairman: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Republican voter: Well.

(pause)

RNC Chairman: (quietly) D’you…. d’you want to come back to my place?

Republican voter: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

Related posts

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• The ‘G’ in G1 Phone stands for ‘Grok,’and now it’s time to ‘Grok the vote!’ (0)
• Sarah Palin releases new Web 2.0 technology to offset McCain’s ignorance of computers (0)
• New Online Political Poll finds 97% of the country hasn’t been polled (2)
• Friday Fishwrap (8-19-08): McCain invents the Blackberry (1)

Fans of “Is It Real?” might have noticed a recent trend where most of our “Is It Real?” features are indeed real. That is not only a testament to the wide-breadth of companies on our Web 2.0 world, it also speaks to the strangeness of it all. In fact, a recent set of Google searches has revealed a number of the satirical companies that we created actually do exist!

To that end, today we are featuring a few of those companies. No polls this week - but be sure to tune in next Sunday for a brand new version of “Is It Real?“…

yooRyoo created company #1: Triangle Hero

Introduced on June 12, Triangle Hero was a parody of Guitar Hero, but with a less-sexy instrument. Designed to teach players how to patiently wait through 138 bars of rest in symphonic pieces before playing your triangle controller, we thought it was a smarmy commentary on those crazy instrument games. Well we weren’t the only ones…

The Cartoon Network started featuring this commercial for a suspiciously similar game…

yooRyoo created company #2: Toot and Toot 2.0

Created as a rip on Twitter, Toot (and Toot 2.0 - now available for the iPhone 3G!) is a faux company designed to provide your health updates to subscribed friends through a micro-blogging service. Now you can Toot all day long, and no one will be the wiser!

Did you know there’s a real Toot company? We didn’t either…here’s a description of their services:

Toot! is software for making rich résumés and portfolios.

A rich résumé includes examples of your work. It exchanges the dry chronology of dates, companies, job titles and duties for an enriched résumé with actual pieces of your work that prove you know your stuff. Those pieces can be presentations, reports, plans, lesson plans, budgets, schematics, art, music, dance — anything you can render in digital form.

A portfolio is a trove of your work, collected over time with reflections about each piece. With Toot!, you can keep an on-going record of your life, including artifacts from all its aspects — work, education, hobbies, family, vacations, etc. When it comes time to create a résumé for a specific opening, you can select those pieces from your portfolio that best exemplify your qualifications for the position.

yooRyoo created company #3: iClock

With Web 2.0 parody, Apple’s “i” series (iPod, iTouch, iPhone, etc.) is an easy target. yooRyoo imagined a time (hah!) when Steve jobs would create a clock where he could control - and enhance - the time-tracking experience.

However, there really is an iClock application. Here’s a review:

iClock’s simple, intuitive interface never lets me down. With a quick glance at the pull-down menu, I can see what time it is where I am….where I’m going…and where I’ve been. With another click, I can check the weather at my next destination. Its so much more than a digital timepiece for the Mac.

yooRyoo created company #4: the gPhone

In a clever twist to combat the popularity of the gPhone, yooRyoo introduced on July 22nd, our “open-source” version of a Google-created phone, called the gPhone. Ultimately, the gPhone is designed to do one thing really well - make phone calls! In addition, we added a feature called “I’m feeling lucky” which randomly calls people - it’s like the Web 2.0 version of drunk-dialing.

Since we debuted this clever satire piece, many people have started calling Google’s upcoming Android phone the “gPhone” (yes, Google is really creating a smart phone). We’ll take credit for where credit is due. Here are a few gPhone links:

• gPhone Finally Coming. About Time (published Aug 14th)
• iPhone and gPhone shakes up wireless world (published Aug 21)
• New g-Phone semi-revealed? (published Aug 26th)

________________________________

It’s clear that since we launched yooRyoo in mid-June, we’ve already had an impact on how technology is evolving. Stay tuned for more “OMG - It IS real!!” features in the future. Have a great rest of the weekend.

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