Canaanite 2.0: McCainonites Untie on the Iraq/Pakistan border!!

August 04, 2008 By: zenboy Category: Political

Canaanite 2.0, aka “McCainonites,” are a modern version of the biblical Canaanites, who were smitten by the Israelis back when toilet paper was a novel idea. Canaanite 2.0 is a VC-funded technology, led by an unnamed elderly Angel-investor that happens to be running for a major political office. These “McCainonites” believe in the strength of old people, national defense, and smiting “non-believers” - and they do this via an AJAX-enabled interface offering news updates exclusively through AltaVista.

While in days of old Israelis destroyed the Canaanites, it seems that the “modern-day” (ha!) McCainonites are being undone by their own actions and poorly written code.

A list of faulty code found in McCainonite include:

Replacing (in many news posts) the word “Iraq” when they clearly mean Afghanistan”
Mistaking “Somalia” for “Sudan” in at least one news feed
On their sports section, swapping out the “Green Bay Packers” tag for the “Pittsburgh Steelers”
Often referring to Vladimir Putin of Russia — particularly following trips to Germany — as “President Putin of Germany”
Interchanging the words “Sunnis” and “Shiiteheads” in all Iraq-centered updates
Accidentally mistaking a dog for a cat
Once trying to open a baby instead of an umbrella on a rainy day

<sarcasm>No, old age and outdated code really has nothing to do with it </sarcasm>

In response, two major news sites - Yo’Bama and Jo’Bama didn’t have to do anything - they just changed minor CSS items, and stood aside to watch the fiasco, and try not to make flubs about the US having 57 states.