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With the much-reported “celebritization” of same-sex marriages by the ever-popular Brangelina (Brad Pitt: “Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able“), the quick-rising San Francisco based HomoWeb Inc. has just released their first Web 2.0 technology entitled “gaiMarrij 2.0”

This new technology allows same-sex couples to enter a parallel universe where all expressions of love are approved of as long as they are between consenting adults, i.e. the Internet.

“Let’s face it, anyone can do just about anything online,” said Bruce, Homo Inc.’s CIO, “we are just trying to make some money off that concept.”

With a flashy interface, and downloadable “widgets”, gaiMarrij 2.0 confers all the rights of straight marriage - property inheritance, conferring health benefits to partners and miserable late-night fights over who left the toilet seat up - to gay and lesbian couples throughout the world.

Co-founder and lead developer Steve added: “gaiMarrij 2.0 creates an online social environment where our lifestyle is not just allowed, it is fully accepted as self-evidently right and correct. It’s kinda like Second Life, but a lot less scarier. And with fewer Furries.”

Details of the world premiere of this new software application were leaked to TMZ, Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight that outlined plans for many major stars to logon and create their own avatars, with a grand finale of the highly-coveted Brad and Angelina Jolie Union streamed in real-time, and finally consumating their - at times - unholy partnership.

When reached for confirmation, Brad announced, “I don’t remember saying anything about getting married to Angelina…are you sure that’s not some sort of internet hoax or satire?”

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A recent raid of an abandoned warehouse in downtown Los Angeles this past weekend revealed rough drafts of a new application that intersects Web 2.0 technology with anarchy. This so-dubbed “Punksonomy” relies heavily on social-bookmarking technologies (such as Digg or Deli.cio.us) but removes all aspects of social interaction.

Users of Punksonomy troll through various websites, and “Punk” them with tags that have no relation to the page’s content, and are usually filled with vulgarities, insults and drug references. “Punking” tags are then housed in a large, centralized database administered by the Organization for the Advancement of Anarchy and Social Unrest (OAASU).

They are then disseminated to social misfits worlwide through a complex mobile phone system regulated by AT&T and Verizon. Thus, anarchy is delivered in small, uniform packets of information.

When approached Ashton Kutcher quickly stated “This has nothing to do with me - no comment.”

A gang of suspicious black-clothed, boot-wearing loiterers in the back alley were more open about the new technology:

• “Yeah, I am a Punksonomist - what the f&^% are your gunna do ’bout it…” said one.
• “Piss off, ya wanka - or I’ll tag you with this blade!” mentioned another.
• “Utilizing Punksonomy, rather than creating a top-down taxonomy, we can create a rich heirarchically structured designed to align to informed governance and decision-making.” commented a third, just prior to downing the remainder of his malt liquor. “Urp, I just threw up in my mouth a little” he added.

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With the subprime mortgage crisis comes the sinking of the Titanic, a.k.a. “America” while the Federal Reserve rearranges the deck chairs. “Chimerica” is no longer just a clever buzzword, it is a foretelling of the new retrograde technology: China 2.0 (a.k.a. the United States). The U.S is usurping China’s former role as manufacturer and exporter of cheap goods. I mean, just look at WalMart, headquarters: Bentonvile, Arkansas, USA. Or Home Depot, headquarters: Atlanta, Georgia, USA. Both offer cheap goods at a low price - something the former China (China 1.0) was known for.

The US is leveraged to the gills. During the real estate boom, homeowners were offered 125% the value of their homes. Now, do you think it is good business to loan people more than the collateral is worth to people who can’t pay back over-leveraged homes? No wonder foreclosures are falling like depth charges, blowing up central banks like so many submarines. Even the Federal Reserve can only juggle so many potential bank failures.

The good thing is that China 2.0 manufacturers can now send their cheap goods overseas - to China! (a.k.a. America 2.0). The retrograde technology of China 2.0 is to benefit America by riding the coattails of the huge China boom. By lowering the costs of our goods, we can now cater to the increasingly upscale tastes of the new Chinese upper and middle classes. Now, they can look to the west to get their iPods and iPhones and iEverythings! America 2.0 (China) never looked so good!

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Is It Real? is a Sunday feature on yooRyoo where we introduce a new Web 2.0 company and ask you to decide whether or not the company is indeed real, or if it is something we made up. We’ll give you the company name, a description of the services and any additional detail that we think might be helpful for you to decide.

Your role is to review the company, and without the help of Google or any other online source, determine if it is real. Vote with the poll below - polls will be open until Friday, in which we’ll reveal the answer in that Friday’s Fishwrap.

So, without further ado, here is this week’s company: Ribbit - an Open Platform for Telephony Innovation…

Ribbit’s team is comprised of traditional telephony experts, “Voice 2.0″ experts as well as various web development, social media and infrastructure experts.

Ribbit is an open platform for telephony innovation giving their developers unprecedented access to their technology through the Ribbit API and allowing them to innovate at will. Their business is built more like a software company than a phone company, counting on their developers to create the next generation communications solutions the world has been waiting for.

Their first product is called “Amphibian” which allows users to manage mobile voicemal like email through widgits in iGoogle and Facebook, and “Experience Caller ID 2.0 - dip into the social web and know not just who is calling but what the caller has been doing.”

So, Is It Real? fans….Is Ribbit real? Vote below, and let us know your thoughts. Answer revealed this Friday!

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Welcome to the Friday Fishwrap! Today’s featured video is a product that could have been featured on our site: Life 2.0, created by Zeke Shore.

“Is It Real” poll results: the MiPhone:

If you recall, last Sunday we introduce you to MiPhone:a new Apple iPhone 3G application (available through the iTunes app store) that is a micro-social network, allowing users to locate others nearby (using iPhone’s internal GPS services) that also have an iPhone. This social network was designed with one purpose in mind - to allow those elitist iPhoners to gather together and deride non-iPhone cell phone users.

We asked you - Is It Real? Here are the results:

• 50% said “no”
• 25% said “yes”
• 25% said “maybe”

The real answer - the MiPhone is not real! However, many people I talked to said it should be. Tune in this Sunday for the next installment of “Is It Real?”…have a great weekend!

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We want to thank of friends, Leo Laporte and Dick DeBartolo for mentioning us on today’s Daily Giz Wiz (to subscribe and download their great podcast, see: http://twit.tv/DGW).

Our most-popular posts so far include:

• Toot - an alternative to Twitter (and it’s follow up Toot 2.0)
• My Facelift - give your Facebook or MySpace account a facelift!
• OnStarbucks - Caffeine in an Emergency
• Goosoft - Google and Microsoft Join Forces
• Feed Tube - John McCain’s Desperate Way to Reach Senior Citizens Online

Please check out our whole site, leave lots of comments, Digg us, post us to your Facebook account and make suggestions for your very own satirical Web 2.0 technology (by clicking on our Submit button).

Have fun!

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Nothing beats a cool smoothie in the heat of the summer…nothing that is, except for high organic search results and a bump in page rank! That’s why the founders of Google have joined forces with the creators of Jamba Juice to provide nutritious, delicious, frozen concoctions with a burst of SEO goodness in every sip.

Under the working term “Google Juice,” this concept store combines thirty different fresh fruits, wheatgrass and completely legal over-the-counter health additives with inlinks, optimized on-page content and XML sitemaps. Served over in-store wireless networks, Google Juice will extract relevant demographic information from your credit card, and “serve-up” your personal or business website as an authoritative page.

“We’ve taken the concept of organic search to an entirely new level,” said one in-store, assistant night-manager at a local Google Juice store, “Everything here is certified pesticide-free…no fruits were purchased from any link-farms.”

As Google Juice concept stores roll-out throughout the country, numerous fanboy sites have already sprung up, including the Google Juice blog, the Google Juice UK blog, and the North American Man Google Juice Love Association.

Google and Jamba Juice representatives, when contacted for their opinion, promptly hung the phone up without speaking to us.

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Initial rumors of a “GooglePhone” subsided once Google leaked the news that their foray into the competitive cell market was actually not a cellphone to rival the iPhone, but rather as the main backer of the Android mobile software platform.

Looks like this was just a smokescreen designed to hide their efforts at their version of the iPhone killer: the gPhone!

Instead of The dark screen of the iPhone 3G, the gPhone uses a light colored screen. Also, in keeping with the simple interface of the Google search, the initial release of the gPhone does one thing and one thing well: make calls. It does not (at least initially) have other applications, like the iPhone, such as music player, calender and productivity suite, only a phone.

The gPhone offers a Google like search interface. Instead of dialing numbers you just input names into the search field, with auto-completion for commonly typed searches. The search also has the “I’m feeling lucky” button, also commonly associated with their online search. In this instance it selects a random phone number of a gPhone owner named similarly to your search query.

“The “I’m feeling lucky” button is the 21st century version of drunk-dialing,” says Google spokesperson I.P. Freely. “It’s a good way to get to know other gPhone owners. It approaches the randomness of real life.”

The model shown has the expansion pack with email, a browser and music player, but Google assures users that right out of the box, you are able to make that simple phone call.

“In this day and age of yearly upgrades, why would you tie all of your technologies into one piece of hardware?” Freely says. “I mean, as technology advances do you really want your music player, camera, browser, productivity suite, etcetera all on one piece of hardware? What if something more sexy comes along, like a new digital camera you can’t live without? Now you’ve got two cameras to contend with. It doesn’t make upgrade sense.

With the gPhone, much like the Google online search, it does one thing and one thing very well: make phone calls.”

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In a rush to release a new iPhone application through Apple’s iTunes store, Toot 2.0 has just been released for the new 3G platform.

Toot is a microblogging technology that allows connectivity to your online friends similar to Twitter. Using bio-tech implants, Toot allows you to automatically update your health status on the fly! Through wireless connectivity, Toot implants convey your biometric information status to a website console that integrates with all social software platforms (Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, WhoIsI). Imagine conveying your health status in 140 characters or less - what a breakthrough!!!

Now available for the iPhone, Toot 2.0 is already gaining a wide acceptance with users:

• “I waited in line two hours at the Apple store for my iPhone, had to wait another 45 for AT&T to run a background check and initiate my cell phone account…now I can’t wait to get home and Toot on my iPhone!” said one Apple zealot.
• Another user wrote: “I have been Tooting all day and all night since I got my new iPhone. It feels great - but I wonder if there is some way I could wash off my phone - it’s beginning to smell.”

Forget Twitter, forget FriendFeed, forget Google Talk - it’s time to Toot 2.0 on your iPhone!

Information regarding Toot1.0 can be found -> here.

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Time for the second installment of “Is It Real.” With all of the excitement surrounding the new iPhone 3G, and the release of the much anticipated iPhone apps store, a number of exciting applications are now available through iTunes. But none as more powerful as this week’s “Is It Real?” entry:

MiPhone (pronouned “My-Phone”) is a unique social-networking tool that allows iPhone users to identify other iPhone 3G users (using the internal GPS device), so they can mingle and congregate, and generally look down at all non-iPhone cell-phone users.

For only $4.99, MiPhone is available through the iTunes app-store for a limited time.

So, “Is It Real” fans, it’s time to guess - is MiPhone real?  No fair searching the apps store in iTunes to find out! The real answer will be given this Friday!

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